I’m not sure how many of you know this, but before I became a photographer I spent several years working as an interior designer.

I worked in one office which was a small office run by a husband and wife team.  How they managed to work together all day I will never know, but they made it work.  Most of the time that I worked there it was the bosses, myself, and another gentleman who had been with the firm for years, Mark.  All the time that I worked there, Mark and I would chat in passing about different things, you know, water cooler talk.  It didn’t matter what we were talking about, if he came upon an issue that we had different preferences, rather than argue about it he would always say, “Well, that’s why they make chocolate and vanilla.”

You might be wondering what this has to do with photography.

When you are putting yourself out there with your photography, whether it be on your blog, Facebook, or for submission, it can be easy to get really wrapped up in what other people will think about your work.  After all, you spend a lot of time a creative energy crafting your images.  When you get a nasty blog comment, or your submission gets rejected it can feel like it is a judgement against you, or worse, a personal attack on your talent, skills, and worth both as a photographer and a person.

I recently put in a submission and received a rejection email back not more than 15 minutes later.

That can sting.

My first thought was, “Wow, they didn’t even have to think about that one, huh?”

It can be easy to let that sting fester into fear.

The fear that maybe your work isn’t as good as you thought it was.

Maybe you are doomed to failure.

Maybe all of your friends actually secretly hate you and talk about you behind you back.

In fact, you are probably going to be laughed out of town the very next time you leave your house and then you will die lonely and a huge failure.

It sounds crazy when I type it out, but in your head – when that little voice is whispering over your normal thoughts, it seems much more reasonable.  Those subtle doubts can poison our work ethic and our confidence.

The truth of the matter is, just because that publication decided not to publish my wedding doesn’t mean that it, and by extension I, suck.  It simply means that that particular event was not a fit for that certain publication at this exact moment in time.  It does not mean that the event is not a perfect fit for another publication.

That’s why they make chocolate and vanilla.

If one client is not happy with their images, that does not negate the hundred who were thrilled.  It just means that you were not the right fit for their needs right now.

You were chocolate and they wanted vanilla.

You don’t need to try to deny your chocolaty goodness and make yourself vanilla, you just need to let it go and try again.

Next time face rejection, rather than get down on yourself, go ahead and say it out loud.  “That’s why they make chocolate and vanilla.”  Take a breath, then move on.